If you are in a difficult season in your marriage, you may not feel love and/or respect from your spouse. Typically, if we aren't feeling loved or respected, it can be challenging to show it to our spouse.
Marriage works when we work at it!
God calls us to respond in love. Period. This doesn't mean we live through abuse (those situations need immediate attention and a safe space for those being abused and/or exposed to abuse.)
Responding in love means being loving to your husband even when you don't FEEL like it.
Yes, our emotions tell us how we are feeling but they do not have to tell us how to act.
When my husband and I are wrestling with challenging issues, I pray to keep my heart soft towards him. I know that if I am not seeking Christ but living in the flesh of hurt, I can stop doing the loving things I normally do during the "easy" times.
I pray for the Lord to keep my heart soft and I am mindful to tell my husband I love him and to show him I love him regardless of what we are walking through.
You may be thinking... "I"m upset with my husband and I can't do this. He needs to change or apologize first."
Reminder, all you can control is you. You telling your spouse that you love him doesn't erase what he has done but it does show your obedience to Christ and your commitment to your spouse.
Recently, my pastor shared this thought about love in marriage: "..... after love has been put through the strainer of marriage -- one thing is left -- commitment."
He's right. We commit to love each other through better and worse. We need to show love to each other. Yes, we need to work through disagreements and we need to do it in love.
I challenge you to write your spouse a love note. Consider writing a note for every day this week and tucking it in his lunch, his pocket, putting a post-it note on his steering wheel or on his coffee mug.
Leave the love notes and see what happens.